Cultural stereotypes

My one uncanny physical trait lies in my ears. They cover an abnormally large radius of sound waves. Believe me. I’ve tried blocking sounds to no avail. Last week I overheard a particularly bothersome conversation at a grocery store. I wish my hearing skills had been below average.

Woman “A” (early 30s, white) was discussing marital problems with woman “B” (40s, white). In short, “A” recently became married to an Asian man. The couple is having a difficult time living together and share responsibilities around the household. A is often annoyed that her husband does not clean after himself. “B” offered a few quick suggestions on “how to control your husband” before whispering, “He’s Asian. They expect to be treated a certain way.”

My arm, reaching for a gorgeous tomato, froze in mid-air. I quickly lowered it and pulled my cart away.

It sounded like the two women knew each other well, that B knew the origins of A’s new husband. Yet, B chose to characterize the husband’s lack of respect for shared domestic responsibilities as “Asian.” There are undoubtedly many men, across the globe, who expect their wives to fulfill certain duties. However, to let one man define the behavior of an”average man” in Asia (if such man exists) is logically, statistically, and scientifically false.

Time and time again, I am saddened by false stereotypes of foreign cultures. Is it often for a person born in the U.S. to call himself “North American”? I cannot imagine Carrie Bradshaw (Sex and the City) to represent the “average woman” of Mexico (or 90% of American women). Just as I cannot expect a French man to represent the  British, German, Greek, or Turkish. They are all European. Don’t get me started on the African and South American countries.

I am also saddened by many people’s assumption that an individual’s behavior can belong to a singular culture. I do not know the upbringing of woman A’s husband, but he must undoubtedly lead an interesting life story. Did he grow up in one or multiple Asian countries? Does his family originate from Asia, which country(ies)? Was he born elsewhere? What is his education and work history?

In a homogeneous society, we are judged by our words and actions. In a heterogeneous society, especially in the U.S., it is most indeed not the case. This is the best and worst of America.

“Culture” is very difficult to decipher. Anthropologists, sociologists, economists, statisticians, advertisers, etc. define “culture” as a career. I do not want to come across as arrogant, that I can perceive individual vs. cultural behaviors well. I do not.

My physical “hearing” trait is merely a half-step to fully understanding the grocery store women’s conversation. The analysis, the next steps, take heavy practice and experiences in human relationships. I have been fortunate to meet people from many corners of the world, thanks to experiences in the American Cities and the American Suburbia as well as abroad. I hope I will continue to learn the what’s and how’s so to perceive an individual’s actions and his cultures as porous subsets.